Overcoming Fear
“Overcoming Fear”
Last week I did a LinkedIn poll to see what the most common thing was that stopped people living their best life.
An overwhelming majority, 64% of respondents, went for FEAR.
Something that 100% of us have had to deal with in some form or another.
Fear can be a very healthy response, in certain situations. It can help us avoid danger and even keep us alive!
It was programmed into us early in our origins as humans when we were hunting and being hunted. It ensured enough of us survived and thrived.
But in the modern world we currently inhabit those primal instincts, such as fear, don't always serve us.
Fear, in particular, can also hold us back from doing exactly what the question asked.
Living our best lives.
A starting point in tackling fear is our relationship with it.
Fear doesn't have to be a bad thing. We can find a way to feel fear but to lean into it.
To recognise that fear is associated with change. And change can be great.
To fully appreciate that the discomfort that comes with fear can be the gateway to amazing opportunity.
To thrive on that fact.
Rather than fighting it we can find ways to embrace it. To love it for what it has to offer.
What if we could transform that fearful whisper into a guiding voice, leading us towards growth and resilience?
Recognising fear as a signal rather than an insurmountable obstacle opens up a pathway for growth and transformation.
It's a profound shift from viewing fear as a barrier to seeing it as a catalyst for change and opportunity.
Identifying Our Fears
To navigate through fear, we must first confront and understand its nature.
Fear comes in many forms and here are some examples:
Fear of Failure:
Often, the fear of failure paralyses action. It's rooted in perfectionism, the fear of judgment, and a fragile sense of self-worth. Overcoming this fear involves embracing failure as a part of the learning process and an inevitable step on the path to success.
Fear of Success:
Surprisingly, success can be as daunting as failure. It might stem from a fear of increased responsibilities, the pressure to maintain success, or changes in personal relationships. Overcoming this fear requires one to reassess values, embrace growth, and understand that success is not a peak but a journey.
Fear of Change:
Change represents the unknown, and fear of change is deeply tied to a loss of control and uncertainty about the future. Embracing change involves cultivating resilience, flexibility, and an open mindset towards new experiences.
Fear of Standing Still:
Conversely, the fear of stagnation is the anxiety of not progressing or fulfilling one's potential. It can be mitigated by setting personal goals, embracing lifelong learning, and recognising that growth occurs in many forms, not all of which are external or immediately visible.
There are some very effective ways to change your relationship with fear.
Some examples that I've personally found incredibly helpful are:
Visualisation:
Try this tool from the amazing Phil Stutz. It's called "The Reversal of Desire".
It allows you to tap into the higher force of forward motion
Focus on the pain you're avoiding; see it appear in front of you as a cloud.
Silently scream, "Bring it on!" to demand the pain; you want it because it has great value.
Scream silently, "I love pain!" as you keep moving forward. Move so deeply into the pain you're at one with it.
Feel the cloud spit you out and close behind you. Say inwardly, "Pain sets me free!"
As you leave the cloud, feel yourself propelled forward into a realm of pure light.
The more often you do this the more you'll reprogramme your neural pathways to see fear as an opportunity for growth.
Watch this for a great visual summary
Catastrophising:
A word I came across when I started meditating, "catastrophising." Something I was very prone to doing. Playing out all the potentially negative outcomes from any given situation.
Meditation allowed me to recognise that 99.9...% of all the outcomes never happened. It was all fiction! Letting go of that was an incredible relief. Out of the 10 outcomes I imagined, invariably no 11 happened. Why CHOOSE to believe in failure!?!
If meditation isn't for you then try this exercise.
Notice the next 10 things you "catastrophise" about and make a note of them, along with ALL the outcomes you imagine. Then make sure you close the loop and make a note of what actually happens. The more you do this the more you'll realise how much is fiction. That can be incredibly liberating and can build your self belief muscle.
Lists can change the game:
Make a list of 20-30 times when you’ve “won” in your life. When you’ve overcome your fears and succeeded. From learning to walk, riding a bike or making a speech. Read this list every day for 90 days. It will rewire your neural pathways and supercharge your belief in yourself helping you overcome your fears.
Cold showers or even ice baths:
As horrifying as the thought may be, once you get over the initial pain you soon acclimatise to them and the benefits are multi fold. The big one is building your "overcoming fear" muscle. The more you lean into it and overcome the stronger it becomes.
Watching recommendation 🎥: "Brené Brown: The Call to Courage"
In this Netflix special, Brené Brown discusses what it takes to choose courage over comfort in a culture defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty. Drawing from her research, she explores the importance of vulnerability, courage, and authenticity in overcoming fear.
Reading Recommendation 📘
"Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm" by Thich Nhat Hanh
Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh offers a profound exploration of fear, its origins, and how we can confront it with mindfulness, compassion, and understanding. This book provides practical advice for recognizing and managing fear in ourselves and others.
Podcast Recommendation👂
Listening: "10% Happier with Dan Harris"
This podcast, hosted by ABC newsman Dan Harris, features conversations with a wide range of guests about mindfulness, meditation, and self-improvement. Episodes often delve into overcoming anxieties, fears, and the obstacles that prevent us from living fully.
Feel free to reach out anytime for more tips or even a chat.
And if you have any recommendations or topics you’d like covered.
